Anxiety is a Messenger
Feelings are much like waves; we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.
— Jonatan Mårtensson
This week, we’re exploring the idea that anxiety isn’t a character defect or a mental glitch—it’s a form of communication. When we treat anxiety as a messenger rather than a flaw, we shift from self-criticism to curiosity, opening the door to insight and more effective responses.
What the Science Says
Anxiety is a built-in threat detection system, not a mistake in the code. The amygdala—the brain's emotional alarm center—fires up when we perceive danger, even if the danger is abstract (like a looming deadline or a possible rejection). Studies using fMRI imaging show that anxiety activates not only fear circuits but also regions tied to problem-solving and planning (e.g., the prefrontal cortex), suggesting that anxiety may be a nudge toward adaptation, not dysfunction.¹
Another study found that people who viewed anxiety as useful—for motivation or as a signal—had better emotional regulation and less distress over time than those who saw it as purely negative.² Our beliefs about anxiety shape how it impacts us.
Two Perspectives: Pathology vs. Communication
The traditional clinical lens tends to pathologize anxiety: something to diagnose, medicate, and eliminate. While treatment can be crucial, this view can subtly reinforce the idea that anxiety means something is wrong with you.
A different frame treats anxiety as a messenger. Not always accurate, but meaningful. It might be pointing to unmet needs, values in conflict, or past patterns replaying. In this view, anxiety becomes a signal to investigate, not suppress.
Mini Story: The “What If” Spiral
Elena kept spiraling into anxious thoughts every time she had to give feedback at work. “What if I offend them? What if they think I’m incompetent?” For years, she saw this pattern as a personal weakness. But when she slowed down and asked, What is this anxiety trying to protect?, she realized it was guarding against her old fear of being seen as “too much”—a childhood message she’d internalized. That insight didn’t erase her anxiety, but it softened it—and gave her something useful to work with.
Reflection Questions
What might your anxiety be trying to communicate—not about the world, but about you?
When you feel anxious, do you tend to judge it, ignore it, or listen for meaning?
Visual Model: The Anxiety Messenger
Picture anxiety as a persistent messenger at your door. You can slam the door (avoidance), yell at them (self-criticism), or invite them in for a short conversation (curiosity). You don’t have to agree with everything they say, but listening might reveal something worth knowing.
Final Thought + One Next Step
Thinking about anxiety differently is a good beginning—but thinking alone won’t resolve it. That’s because anxiety lives in the body as much as the mind.
This week, when anxiety shows up, try pausing to ask: “What are you trying to tell me?”
Then take a few slow, deliberate breaths and notice what shifts. That’s listening with both head and body.
Sources
Etkin, A., & Wager, T. D. (2007). Functional neuroimaging of anxiety: A meta-analysis of emotional processing in PTSD, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobia. American Journal of Psychiatry.
Jamieson, J. P., et al. (2013). Turning the knots in your stomach into bows: Reappraising arousal improves performance on the GRE. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
